The best shower ever

It’s been a really difficult few days.

The temperatures in Paris have been slowly climbing this week and have been around 90 the last couple of days.

One of the most consistently challenging aspects of my illness has been my sensitivity to heat. For a variety of reasons my body has had trouble regulating fluids and electrolytes and as I result, I feel sick fairly quickly when warm.

With the rising temperatures in Paris and the lack of air conditioning in most stores, I’ve been stuck in our apartment since Monday around lunchtime. Unfortunately I made the decision Sunday to spend the day in bed. This added up to around 5 full days in a 240 sq ft apartment.

This has been exceptionally hard for a few reasons:

a glimpse into the last 4 days. I don’t know why it looks like my legs are broken.

1. The AC unit is in the bedroom. This means that the bedroom stays cold/comfortable but the living room/kitchen is very warm. The bedroom is also very warm during the heat of the day.

2. Our ceilings are super slanted. I can’t sit up in bed, fully stretch, or do yoga.

3. The AC unit is loud. Like sitting next to a hair dryer. For 5 days.

4. We have no windows (except on the ceiling).

sealing off the windows.

5. I have been very anxious. Being trapped in the apartment with hot weather just outside has made me feel so fragile, vulnerable, and far away from the familiar.

This has all been made better (or worse) by the fact that we are moving somewhere better very soon. Joel viewed potential apartments on Tuesday and we found one. It’s beautiful, bright, and has normal height ceilings. The AC unit is new, powerful, and quiet. It’s available for move in but our Realtor has not been able to reach the owners in order to release the keys. We’ve been checking our email every 10 minutes since Tuesday. As soon as she gets the go-ahead from the owners we can move over there and finally unpack. The dangling carrot of the new apartment seems to just be fueling my anxiety.

a picnic on the bed- grabbed what we could from the kitchen before retreating to the bedroom.

When the temperatures inside reached almost 80 by lunchtime today, I threw in the towel. We had not heard about the new apartment and I just didn’t think I could spend another full day reclined in attic. We checked online, found a good deal at a new hotel on our block, and checked in at 1pm.

I think it’s one of the best decisions we’ve made. I’d gladly eat rice and beans for week for these 24 hours of respite.

The hotel room is cool, quiet, and the ceilings are at least 9 feet tall. I’ve taken a long bath, showered (and was able to stand upright), practiced yoga, and read. The windows are tall and I can people-watch easily.

It’s also worth mentioning that during the very challenging last few days I’ve feel extremely comforted knowing how many people are pulling for us back home. It certainly can feel lonely here but I know we have a lot of support.

I’m proud that I made it for 4 days. I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to fight through the anxiety and claustrophobia. Mostly, I’m just really thankful for this hotel room.